Easter Time!

It's Sunday afternoon and our family is wiped out. Tired and blessed.

Friday night we dyed eggs.



Luke had a blast measuring and pouring the water this year. I ran out of vinegar so mixed results on our colors this year, but lot of fun.

Saturday morning Luke wrote "Quiet Please" on his marker board and announced he was going to do a puppet show. I was his assistant and we spent an hour or two making signs announcing the show and assembling the cast.



We were just about ready to begin when Luke announced we needed decorations. I was trying to think of something easy to draw and suggested flowers for the decor. Luke said, "great idea," went to the computer, logged on to pbskids.org, and opened a Cat and Hat game that was a flower creator. He made and printed six flowers.



This photo shows some of our decorations. Then we drew some more pictures that we hung around the room. We were finally ready for the show to begin. Luke called the audience (Daddy) and I ran the video camera. I will have to attempt to post the video of the show. He spent 0 minutes preparing a script. It was all ad lib. My favorite line was "I'm a flower and I'm 'bout to grow."

I had not intended to spend my Saturday morning putting on a puppet show. I actually had a little list of things I wanted to accomplish. But this was an unusual burst of creativity for Luke so I jumped at the opportunity and tried to savor it.


Saturday evening we headed to friends' house for our annual egg hunt. I've posted about our special little egg hunt in years past. It was a fun time for Luke to hang out with his buddies.





A little pre hunt jumping.

A bunch of BIG kids ready for hunting.

Luke did a really good job hunting independently, not obsessing over winning and losing, and sharing the loot with his friends. Proud of him.

The kids, posing for the annual photo. They are so grown up. Sigh.

My tripod broke (augh!) at the egg hunt, but the ledge of the deck worked pretty well. We took one group shot and everyone was smiling AND looking at the camera. Amazing. Such big kids.

Well, we did take one more photo.

Luke was so keyed up after the egg hunt and the time with friends (a.k.a. chasing the girls around trying to get their attention) he took a long time to wind down and go to sleep. I think his brain takes a while to turn off after exciting activities. So we had a late night followed by an early morning.

Thankfully the bunny didn't leave us much candy, since we have a lot of loot 3 egg hunts. He did leave a couple of movies and some goodies.

After a wonderful time of worship, we headed to do a little more egg hunting at Mimi and Papa's church. Luke was tired, but rallied to get a few more eggs.

What form!

After about 10 or 15 eggs he declared himself done.

The only family photo I got today. It was windy and my hair was a situation.

Luke and his egg hunt prize. He named "her" Ashley.

We enjoyed a wonderful lunch with Mimi and Papa but we were all very tired from the busy weekend (Seriously, I don't know if we could ever manage Disney world. Apparently we need lots of downtime.) Luke had been talking about egg hunting at Mimi's house, but I didn't know if he was game for more. But he rallied one more time and did a little more hunting and hiding.

Look at that enthusiasm. After a few rounds he decided he was just "too tired of walking" and the egg hunt was over.

There were a few small bumps but mostly a great weekend for Luke and our family. Holidays used to bring so much pain of unrealized expectations and activities Luke couldn't manage participating in. Just look at him now. Praising God for this step-by-step, little-by-little miracle!

autism awareness month

Did you know April is Autism Awareness Month? It's awareness month for several other things too. I just googled it and got a lengthy list, including IBS awareness. Well, having a child with autism could certainly make that worse . . . .

Anyway, I've read a few touching stories on various websites this month about the trials and blessings of having a family member with autism. Most things I read were about an individual extremely affected by autism, and the triumph in finding a way for that person to communicate or discovering a hidden talent. Hats off to those families. I stand in awe.

So it's been a while since I've detailed how autism is affecting our lives these days. Of course it's interwoven into every post. My perspective on every event of Luke's child will always be seen through the eyes of an autism mom. But our burdens have changed so much since my early blogging days. Praise God! But the burdens are still there and I guess the best way to explain that is to describe my week.

Saturday night, Luke's eyes suddenly became very itchy and started swelling. I gave him benedryl and a bath. And I skyped with my awesome pediatrician sister-in-law who thought allergies. Sunday morning was worse. I was ready to call the pediatrician. But once the benedryl kicked in again, he got relief.

This is the photo I sent Lamar at work to show him how much better he was looking. We took him to the doc Monday morning who confirmed my sister-in-law's diagnosis. He recommended allergy meds and I explained that I would not put him on zyrtec again. He took zyrtec at age 2, and, as I told the doc, "It pushed him a little further down the spectrum." I didn't realize how drastically it affected his behavior until we stopped it. Apparently I'm not the first to complain about this side effect and he suggest allegra. He also suggested some eye drops and perhaps we'll try a nose spray in the future. I was sure Luke would protest the eye drops and saline spray (just to get him used to the feel) but he's been doing just super. His comment on the eye drops was "That's really chilly water in my eye." And now I'm over analyzing every behavior this week, wondering how the allegra is affecting him. Allegra apparently does not cross the blood/brain barrier. We'll see.

And so after missing school on Monday, going back Tuesday was not pleasurable. Luke's started talking a lot about first grade. He's fixated on he and his 3 bffs (3 girls who I seriously doubt reciprocate his adoration) being in the same class. I've specified I do NOT want him with these friends next year, and Mrs. W agrees. Since he keeps bringing it up, with the Mrs. W's permission, I told him he definitely would not be with them next year. He said, "OK, I will tell the girls," and whispered under his breathe, rehearsing how he'd break the news.

This led to a conversation on Luke varying who he plays with. He eventually told me he wants help finding new friends to play with. We had an impromptu meeting with Mrs. W in the hallway Tuesday morning to discuss how he would like her help finding new friends to sit by and play with (She's been encouraging this all year.). And he's had some success this week, but the lure of the girls has drawn him in a few times too.

And Luke has decided once again that he needs a parent at lunch with him everyday. Lamar and I have been to a LOT of kindergarten lunches this year. The kids are so used to us being there. Yesterday one precious little friend asked me to mix up her cookies and cream ice cream so it would "look all chocolate." I tried, but did a pretty lousy job. Her comment, "Well, Mr. Lamar can do it."

Lamar is working a later shift today and I had to work this morning. Luke wanted me to eat lunch with him. I told him the only way for me to be lunch was to go to work early, which meant Daddy would have to take him to school. (I always do drop off.) He said this would work. So, I gave in on the lunch but we did work on flexibility in our drop off routine. My thought was we'd work on the lunch issue next week.

So I just discovered there is tea for the adults in the lunchroom (I'm not much on eating with the kids. It's pretty gross.) Today I was getting my tea when Luke was sitting down at the table. Seat selection always causes him some anxiety, but he did fine today, all by himself. He also went by himself to get ice cream. Now I'm thinking maybe I just need to help him have confidence and independence at lunch.

Perhaps you're wondering why the school doesn't have support for him at lunch. They do! But Luke will not allow his aid to help him at lunch. He really doesn't like every having extra help. He does LOVE the aid that brings him to the pick up line after school. She just happens to be gorgeous. Trouble, trouble.

Today is show and tell day. Luke took giant play penny he got from the treasure box at therapy, and some mardi gras looking beads that he said are "tiny disco balls." I hope his class finds this funny. It's always a big let down for him when they don't respond as he anticipated.

I've heard from several autism moms that "social issues" were the biggest challenge of kindergarten. And I thought, "Well, Luke loves other children so that shouldn't be too hard." But teaching him how to respond in social situations, where there are no absolutes for how his friends will react, is a big challenge. For example, yesterday at lunch (yep, I've been 2 days in a row) the little girl sitting next to him was pretty grumpy. Luke wanted to whisper a "secret" in her ear and she said she didn't want him close to her face. She continued to whine and complain about various things. Luke continued to try and tell her something, and she continued to get perturbed. I whispered in his ear, "Remember what you do when a friend isn't being nice or doesn't want to play?" He said, "Find another friend." So I said, "Well, you do the same thing when a friend doesn't want to talk to you." He said, "Oh!" and began talking to the girl sitting across from him.

He doesn't always respond so calmly to correction, particularly at home in the evenings when he's tired, but he's getting so much better about remaining calm and rational.

I am nothing but thankful for the progress we've made. My heart goes out to all those parents working every day to teach basic language and play skills. Those days are so tiring! But there are things about teaching language that I think were actually easier than teaching how to navigate the complex social structure of kindergarten. Multiple times each day I wonder if I'm enabling him or being too demanding. But I chose to believe that God has led us to this place, with Luke and his uniqueness as our only child, and I trust he'll lead us down the right path. It's the only way I know to live.

savoring 5 kilometers

The end of 2010, my friend Sara Walker lost her sweet baby girl at the very end of a normal pregnancy. In the weeks that followed, Sara learned she has stage 4 colon cancer. In the days leading up to and immediately following her diagnosis, Sara began to share news and her hope with friends and family via email. A few weeks later at her kitchen table we discussed a caringbridge site . . . and the rest is history. Sara is sharing her journey with cancer and so much more here. What woman, faced with such tragedy, would inspire thousands to be transparent, let go of fear, live by faith, and savor today? Only a woman filled with the holy spirit. She is amazing. She is revolutionary. Yesterday it was our honor to walk in the Walker Run 5K. The run was organized by Sara's former PT school classmates and sponsored by her employer, STAR Physical Therapy. I think they said 1200 people registered for the race. Lamar was working yesterday so Luke and I tagged along with some friends. Luke and Cooper and their chariot. Ready to get started! The Walkers receiving their giant check (I was SO hoping there would be a giant check!) for $30,657. A-mazing!!!!! Check out this view of walkers and runners. It gives me chills. The boys taking a break in the wagon. They did run and walk quite a bit. Too bad I have no photos of that!

We made it! And we're bringing the t-shirt tie back! When Luke put on the t-shirt and declared it too big, I knew exactly what to do. Thank you 1989!

After the race we hitched a ride home with our beloved Jackie Lynn. And we had a little CB brunch, followed by a good game of checkers.

Luke did really well despite the crowds, noise, and totally new experience. He got just a bit irrational when he tripped, but other than that, super behavior from Luke.

Each time I look at pics from the race, or think back to our sweet Sara addressing the crowd yesterday, I think of this song: Love lifted me (even me). (Because songs in my head are always in 4 part harmony) Love lifted me (even me). When nothing else could help, love lifted me.

a fish tale

Luke was having a personal struggle lately. He's probably getting too old for me to give the details of this struggle, but let's just say I was really motivated to help him overcome this struggle. And my washer and dryer were getting tired. So, we promised if he could accomplish a goal in overcoming the obstacle, he could get some pet fish. Although this photo is unrelated, it pretty much sums up my feelings on pet ownership. Luke chose a Sponge Bob fish tank. Just great. Our sales associate at the pet store didn't seem to be quite a fish expert. She said this tank would be fine for two large goldfish and the algae eater she suggested we purchase. When checking out, an older and wiser (I'm guessing) employee said, "Hmmm, those fish are going in there? (pause) Well, they should be fine. But you'll need to change the water once week. Because their poop will make the ammonia levels high." Should. have. known. this. would. be. trouble. But Luke loves the fish. He declared them all girls and named them Molly, Teddy, and Caroline. Two of those names are on my list of favorite girl names. The first night we fed the fish and dropped in an algae tablet for Caroline (the algae eater). Caroline did not touch her food, but Molly and Teddy devoured their food and the algae. Hmmm . . . The next morning the tank was kind of cloudy and well, I think that man at the pet store knew what he was talking about. Luke was home sick on Thursday. I noticed water collecting under the tank. Sponge Bob's house had cracked. I called Lamar at work, who concurred that we needed to get them out of there, but what to do? I did the only logical thing. I called my parents to come help us. They arrived about an hour later with a new tank and a net. They majorly rock. And much rinsing, filling the tank, and treating the water, the fish seemed happy in their second new home in 48 hours. What a relief the Sponge Bob decor could be moved to aquarium #2. So last night Lamar and I discussed Caroline not eating the algae and her sisters eating it. We googled it and found a few recommendations to put something like zucchini in the tank for the algae eater. Well, I have no zucchini in the house. And what's to keep the goldfish from eating that too. And who knows what that would do to their g.i. tracts. And it's just weird and gross. So we tried the algae one more time and a repeat performance. And the tank was filmy today again and poor Molly and Teddy weren't swimming to much. So in my favorite moment of the entire fish debacle, Lamar called the pet store and asked if necessary to feed the algae eater. This employee said no. She's had the same algae eater for 3 years and never fed it the tablets. Then Lamar said, "Well, our goldfish are eating the algae and they are pooping A LOT." So in one last effort to save Molly, Teddy, and Caroline, we changed the aquarium water AGAIN. All 10 gallons. The water is clear and freshly treated. And no more algae tablets. The fish are still acting sluggish, but maybe they'll recover? Maybe they're traumatized from all the moving. Luke LOVES moving the fish with the net. He just needs some supervision so as not to crush them. Luke was super excited to take pictures of the fish for show and tell today. And he keeps asking when we can get a cat and dog. Don't hold your breath, buddy. In other news, Luke would really like to have a brother and sister. The request began on our trip to Chattanooga. It first started when we were purchasing aquarium (another aquarium causing me problems!) tickets at the kiosk and we got 2 adult tickets and 1 child ticket. I think he wants a brother and a sister so there will be more kids than adults and he will be on the "winning team". Because right now EVERYTHING in his life is about who is winning. So the other night Luke was really bugging me about when we could get a brother and sister. He prefers the brother be 8 and the sister be 5. He has no interest adding an infant to the family. He thinks we should name the girl Allie and the boy Jerry. After several questions and requests I suggested Luke pray about his desires. So he did. The next morning he got up and went downstairs, looked around and said, "Where are they?" Who? "The brother and sister." :)

a little stormy

Last Friday night, after a pretty low-key day, Luke and I were watching TV when Lamar came home from work. Luke was very tired but determined he was not. After Lamar ate his reheated supper, he got out the big bag of popcorn. Lamar discovered the big bags of popcorn at Publix a few months ago. Luke devoured the popcorn the first time we offered it to him, so I started packing it for his school snack each day. I usually put something else with it, like a few pretzels. He's never made a single comment about his snack. When Luke saw the popcorn bag he got really upset. He grabbed the bag from Lamar's hands and poured ALL the popcorn on his little table. Then he took hand fulls of the popcorn to the trash can saying, "I want this to be gone." So of course I want to punish him for this outrageous behavior. It made me furious. But it was so odd that I had to understand his motivation. Luke was able to calm himself enough to talk about it. After many questions I ascertained he does not like having popcorn for his snack. It makes him mad that every day popcorn is in his snack bag. So he thought he'd get rid of the popcorn. I walked him through a better way to discuss this with me and we agreed no more popcorn in the snack bag. And then he cleaned up the mess. Meltdowns like these are rare these days. But it still knocked the wind out of my sails for a bit. On Saturday we made our way to the movies, Luke's fifth cinematic experience: My expectations for Hop were low. I expected cheesy slap-stick. And there was plenty of cheese, but the movie was really cute and I laughed a lot. Joe Cool poses with the movie poster, our little movie tradition. Too bad about the glare. Right before the movie Luke and I managed to spill diet coke all over him. In our defense, I was trying to save him from a spill and the cup collapsed in my hand. We ran to the restroom. I had spare pants for him in my bag (doesn't everyone?) and he put on the sweatshirt we brought in case it was chilly. And we made it back to our seats before the movie started. Our rock star moment of the day. On Monday the weather forecast was a little scary. I stayed close to home, knowing I might need to make a dash to school. Then I got an email from Mrs. W that she was leaving school with her sick child. I knew Luke was with a sub and a storm was approaching. I planned to arrive just as they returned from specials and take him or at least ride out the storm with him at school. But the storm moved more quickly than anyone expected. I was on the exercise bike and heard tornado sirens. So I went against all safety protocol and threw Lamar's big rain slicker over my exercise clothes and jumped in the van. In my .5 mile drive to school, the wind was gusting and the rain was pouring. I sat in the van in parking lot, wondering if it was safe to run in. The wind was rocking the van and I figured I wasn't exactly safe there. I thought about driving right up to the door and just parking in the fire lane and running in. But what if there was an emergency and a fire truck needed to come. So I just jumped out and ran in. I didn't even have on my bright orange rain boots that I wear every single time it rains. Just my Nikes that were instantly saturated. The secretary saw me coming, opened the door and said, "He's right here in the nurse's office." Apparently the special ed teachers thought it would be good idea to bring some of the kids that might be especially nervous to the office. But Luke didn't want to gather with the others in the assistant principal's office. Luke's kind of a special ed snob. So he was hanging with his bff Ms. Wendie in the nurse's office. He was so glad to see me, saying "Wow Mom! How did you get here?" And I was so glad he was so well taken care of. LOVE our school. We waited out the storm together, me soaking wet, looking through an old yearbook. He loved finding students and teachers he knows. I can only imagine how excited he'll be when he gets his first yearbook in a few weeks. We survived the stormy week and are feeling much sunnier today.