Father's Day

We're not that big on holidays in our house, for quite a few reasons I think. For a few years, holidays were a time that the chasm between our parenthood expectations and our reality seemed incredibly wide. And Lamar frequently works on holidays. (Particularly Mother's Day and when I mentioned that this year he reminded me most all his coworkers are women/mothers and get first dibs.)


And Mother's Day and Father's Day seem pretty contrived to me. Just one more reason to spend $3.95 on a greeting card, which I just about refuse to do anymore. I mean can you really be expected to save every card you ever get (reference the Seinfeld episode?).


And while everyone in this house has the blessing of having a fabulous father, I think these holidays can be painful reminders of scarred relationships or unfulfilled dreams of parenthood.


And I kind of forgot about it this year until yesterday. And we were busy with a wedding and errands. Luke had a pretty nasty cold yesterday so I kept him home from church this morning. I thought I'd try a little Father's Day project.



Here's his picture of Daddy:



I had to help him a little with the "bowling on TV". He's still wild about the Wii.


I've read many a funny post with questions an adult asks a child and records his wacky answers. It's never been something I could do with Luke before. His answers would have been really bizarre, in a not funny way. But I thought he might enjoy it this year, and he did. Favorite questions are really hard for him, so I asked some pretty leading questions:



What do you like to do with Daddy? Watch TV



What do you like to play with Daddy? A drum



What sport is Daddy good at? the Wii



What is your favorite thing about Daddy? the bowling






I think this is about the cutest Father's Day craft ever that Luke made in Bible class on Wednesday night. Kudos to his fabulous teacher.

So happy Father's Day! Contrived or not, I've taken a moment today to reflect on Luke's great dad and his two wonderful grandfathers. All three have endured much that could have made them bitter, but it's only made them better. Daily they demonstrate that fatherhood is not a responsibility, but a privilege.

zoo, summer school & vbs

Ah summer. Where does the time go? It's zipping by as quickly as the school year.

After vacation we enjoyed a week with a little more freedom (despite three therapies and a very busy week at work for me), and actually went to the zoo with friends. The boys enjoyed four whole animals I think before going to the playground. It was Luke's first trip to the zoo playground, and I'm so glad he had friends there to help him check it out.






Then we moved to the little kids area which was great for keeping an eye on them. The boys hard at work moving the big cushion things around.





And then laying on them. This went on quite a while. Luke joins in with his friends so well now. It's really exciting to see his budding friendships. And playing with friends gives him ideas for play he wouldn't come up with on his own.

After the zoo Luke's buddy C. came to our house to play for a while. Both boys begged for him to come over and were so excited. Right before C. went home they both ran upstairs. C. called for me to come upstairs. I couldn't find them for a while and discovered them behind the recliner, coloring the carpet like crazy. I am certain this was Luke's idea, as it's not his first unorthodox coloring episode.

Then last week summer school began. Luke is back at the same school for summer school, with a new teacher, a few kids from his class last year, several new friends, and a new teacher, Mrs. Jenny. Mrs. Jenny will be his teacher in the fall, when they move to a new school. So I'm glad for Luke to get to know her this summer in the smaller, more relaxed atmosphere.





So I didn't realize I was anxious about his starting summer school, but my stomach was in knots last Monday morning. We had a few tough days of Luke getting used to the new kids, one in particular who can be kind of loud. I think the noise wouldn't have been quite as big an issue if Luke weren't already a little apprehensive. But he's really enjoying it now. Summer school is two weeks in June, a two week break, and two weeks in July. Seems kind of crazy to me to break it up like that. I guess it gives the kids not such a long break of no school. Luke and I both LOVE Mrs. Jenny and think she'll be just the teacher to get Luke ready for kindergarten.

And once this weekend we were out to eat and a child in the restaurant yelled pretty loud. Luke commented on how loud it was and then said, "I am okay with loud." Wow! If that alone is all we get out of summer school, it was a worthwhile endeavor.



And we had VBS last week. It was a crazy fun time for all, and I'm so incredibly glad it's over. It was in the evening which made for late nights and early mornings last week. I didn't take Luke the first night. I was busy with my work responsibilities, Lamar was working, and I couldn't juggle all that and what I was sure would be an apprehensive Luke. I took him Monday night and attempted to leave him in class but the tears came pretty quickly. He had just started summer school that morning and I wasn't about to push VBS. I offered to go home and he said he wanted to stay with his friends. So we stayed and went back the next two nights too and I just stayed with him. He really loved it and it was fun seeing him interact with the other kids.












Paper sack = Instant costume. Here it's a toga, just in case that wasn't obvious.



Luke, all his green shirt friends, and a couple of yellow shirts, grow-grow-growing.




And Lamar had a birthday this weekend. Yes, those candles look like crayons. Lamar is an avid colorer. :)

So a couple of weeks ago I told Luke that Daddy was having a birthday soon. I asked him what we should get Daddy for his birthday and he said, "A present!" I asked him what the present should be and he said, "A Wii!" And thanks to grandparents and a giftcard, that's what he got. I videoed Lamar (and Luke) opening the gift and will have to post it. Oh so excited. And Lamar's actually played it a few times too. We're all having fun with it.

Sunday at lunch the three of us were sitting in a booth at a restaurant. Luke wasn't very interested in eating and laid down in my lap. Lamar and I were rather deep in conversation about something and Luke said, "Hey Mom! Hey Mom! Say to Daddy, 'Lamar, Luke is asleep!'" and we laughed so he repeated it many times.

Later in the meal Luke climbed behind me and was kind of bouncing. I said, "Luke, what are you doing?!!" He answered, "Riding the cow!" Ah, thanks.

the beach

We've been home a week. And I've up to my eyeballs in VBS preparation and am really tired, but I want to record some memories from our vacation before they all eek out of brain.


Luke's last day of school was Tuesday, May 19. Wednesday we had Luke's end of the year party and said good-bye to Ms. Judy. So bittersweet. Thank goodness I was looking forward to leaving Saturday for our vacation, or it would have been a sad sad day.


We met my parents and my brother and his family in Orange Beach. Luke's been talking about this trip for months, naming everyone that will be there, and talking about how he'd build sandcastles and play in the pool. He was very excited, but the closer we got he kept asking, "Is the ocean quiet or loud?" We told him it was kind of medium. That seemed to satisfy, but he asked repeatedly.


We were the last to arrive and everyone came out to the car to greet us. And Luke freaked out a little. I was worried that might happen. If we build things up too much, sometimes the anticipation/excitement gets to him. He quickly calmed down and was very excited to check out the condo and watch the ocean.


Our first day out he had just a little anxiety about the water, but pretty soon he was out "jumping" waves with Daddy:



Each day he seemed to like the beach even more. It really was a joy, a dream come true, seeing him play happily on the beautiful beach. Two years ago when we went to the same beach, just days after his autism diagnosis, we never even setup chairs on the beach. It was too stinkin hot, and he would run around a bit on the beach, but was done in about 15 minutes and ready to go.








This would be what you call a "mom suit" and that would be me hiding behind my child. The only way I'd post it on the web.

Loving the indoor pool when we needed a break from the sun. Luke also loved the huge outdoor pool, but for some reason I got no photos there.

Our last day on the beach, Papa rented us some chairs. That is the way to enjoy the beach! Next time, I'm searching high and low for a condo that includes chair rentals. Notice that Mr. Big Stuff warmed right up to this new experience.

Luke LOVED Miss Maggie, the sweetest baby ever. And so verbal. I'm still astounded at typical development, though I think her verbal is pretty advanced. Two word combinations at 16 months! Are you kidding me? And she understands SO MUCH of what you say. Like you call her and she comes. At 16 months old! Luke was 3 before he did that. This must be why most people have more than one child.

One day Maggie pointed to her Elmo book and said, "Elmo". So I tried out the Milleu method on her, expanding on what she said (we did a study at Vandy using Milleu) and said, "Elmo book!" and she immediately repeated it back to me perfectly. Wow! And then she was singing her ABCs but having a little trouble, so I sang with her, leaving blanks for her to fill in. She loved it and Erik said, "That's a good idea, singing it like that with her." Glad the thousands of dollars we've spent on therapy comes in handy.

Maggie was a BIG fan of Luke's trains. She played with them more than Luke did and loved their faces. We'll soon be sending her a few.

Luke's still likes Thomas, but he found a new passion at the beach, the Wii. He LOVES it. We don't own one . . . yet. Our first days there I thought he'd never figure out how to release the button while bowling. Now he's a pro. He can beat me at most sports, except golf. He hasn't really mastered the light touch and sometimes really whacks it when he's already on the green. Amusing to watch though.

Just wish Maggie (and her parents) lived closer . . .

So our only issue at the beach really caught me off guard. I guess I should have seen it coming. Luke's had some anxiety lately if we ever travel anywhere in separate cars. He wants to keep the other car in his sight the whole time. We of course had to travel in separate cars at the beach--there were 8 of us--and this always was an issue for Luke. The first few days it was so bad that I just didn't really want to leave the condo. It was just too exhausting. But he got better as we were there. I don't know what caused it, other than for the months we've talked about this trip we always listed everyone that was going. Maybe he thought we all had to be together all the time. Also, there's just not such a definite schedule at the beach. I got lots of "Mommy, what's next?" while we were there. I did my best, but that's a challenge on vacation.

He also really wanted to open all doors/gates himself. This was a little hard when the pool and beach were crowded. One day as I closed the gate so he could open it, another mom saw what we were doing and said, "Oh you must be related to us? Do you have a fit if you can't open the gate too?" Ah, I love moms that get it.

A few more beach photos. I had so many I loved that it was hard to choose. We did do some family photos on the beach, but I may use those for Christmas cards and would hate to spoil the surprise for all of you. It was a great trip and I really hope we can do it again.